My elder son would shut himself in his room only to come down for meals. He hardly has two words to say to us but we can hear him laughing and talking loudly when he is playing his online games.
Over time, his face was always sullen and angry. He would get upset if we told him that he had to join us for outings or family dinners and he made no attempt to hide his emotions.
He would vent his pent up anger and frustrations by banging on the table while playing his online games; he would be cursing & swearing loudly.
As the time drew nearer for him to leave home to further his education, I felt that I had to seek help else I would ‘loose him completely’.
When I was 18, I left home and I never looked back. I never attempted to contact my family and I didn’t want history repeating itself with my elder son.
Despite attempts to bond with him, he would shut me out time and again. It was worse when it came to his relationship with his father; they could never see eye to eye. It felt that he was always misunderstood by his father thus I was always caught in the middle trying to be the bridge to link them and maintain the peace but it always ended up with me being told ‘it’s your fault, you always spoil him, you always take his side’
I wanted so badly for my son and my husband to heal, to have a healthy bond between them and to be able to agree to disagree without accusing each other or putting each other down. Most of all, I wanted my son to know that we love him even though our language of love may be different.
Thankfully, we managed to complete the Energetic Cage Release for my son and commence the 1st round of Energetic Cage Release for my hubby before my son embarked on his journey and relocated to Johor where he will remain for the next 3.5 years.
I could see the anger and frustration melt away from my son’s face after the sessions. He willingly spent time with us and started to join in the conversations; he started to joke around and even tease me. He even played monopoly with his siblings when we went for a family staycation.
We found a partially furnished apartment which my son would share with another 2 course mates; the other 2 boys would move in at the month end after they had completed their 2nd vaccination. My hubby stayed on for a month to help furnish the apartment and show our son around.
During the initial week, my hubby would constantly ask me ‘Do you think he’s awake? Do you think he’s attending his online class? Do you think he’s still playing his online games? Do you know he’s sleeping very late at night.’ Each time I would reply ‘Have faith in him and trust him. Let him go, let him learn. Don’t think, don’t ask, don’t doubt’
Eventually, my hubby stopped asking me those questions. One day, he said ‘I let go just like how you ask me to’
A few days before my hubby was due to come back, I made my way down to Johor. I was so happy to see my son waiting at the airport when I touched down; it meant a lot to me. On the day we left Johor to return to KL, my son gave me….and my hubby a big hug. If only you can see the tears of joy and relief in my eyes as I write this.
Thank you, Dhennver and Hui Ling, for giving my son a fresh start with this journey. With the Energetic Cage Release, I no longer need to be the bridge between father and son. I look forward to many more bonding moments with lots of open conversations and laughter.