Thank you for helping me overcome my recent relationship problem. Not only did the sessions help to calm my mind but also “soothes” the ache I had in my heart due to the recent break off. I am calmer now and managed to think and accept the situation with clear mind and heart and no more self-blame.
As you know, I was caught with the sudden break off from a relationship that I had started about 1 year ago. My partner and I were getting very close over the past months and we were even getting to the stage of discussing about building the future together and out of the blue, he told me he wanted a break in our relationship and we should not be seeing each other. All these come in very sudden. We were happily having lunch the day before he broke the news to me the next day and suddenly my whole world just crumbled.
It was a very tough time for me, as he did not want to say much to me. I keep asking why? and all he could explained was it is for my good. He doesn’t want to burden me. The more he said that to me, the more my mind came up with reasons for why he would break off with me; reasons like, I was not good enough for him; I was not pretty for him; maybe I have said or done something that makes him angry (does this sounds all familiar to you?.. hahahaha). So, I am very much into self-blaming mode. I cried so much until I feel no more tears can come out from my eyes.
People said… time will heal… just give yourself some time… 1 week passed, I miss him again. 3 weeks passed I missed him even more, especially not able to talk and see him (we talk and see each other a lot when we were together).
They said go for holiday, it will help you to forget him,… I did and it made me feel even more lonely and worst. Every time I visited a place, I will think, how nice if he is here now.. or I see couple together, how I wished I was like that now. So you see, the holiday makes me feel more lonely and missed him much much more. Honestly, holiday during break off is the worst suggestions… it makes you think more about the person and think of all the things that you wished you would do with your partner.
The pain of missing someone is really unbearable. Just a mentioned of his name or talking about the break off, my tears will roll down and I will start crying again. Even going to work, is hard for me as we worked near each other and every time I passed by his office, I will tear up in the car. I tried to be braved and not let it influenced me but in the end it still affects me terribly. Even songs, or certain restaurants that we used to go… I will try to avoid going there as I know I will think of him again. I tried to talk to my colleagues about the break off to get it out from my system, but before I could start, I would tear up again… I was so miserable.
But luckily, I came across your site and spoke to you and you told me… try BQRT. It will help to loosen up and think clearer. This technique is not to cure of the situation but to make me accept the situation in clear mind so that I know how to manage the situation in a more clear mind and heart.
The first session, I did not feel any change. In fact, I feel more lonely and I missed him terribly. I cannot even rest and my crying sessions was more intense. in my mind. I keep playing the reasons and I even send him more messages and all his answers to me were, forget me. I am doing this for your good, you will thank me in future, you will find someone better than me. All these replies make me cry even more.
After sharing this with you and you ran another session for me, I started to feel some difference. I feel a bit more calmer and start to cry less and no more blaming myself… no more excuses and I start to think clearer of the whole situation and able to start analyse the whole situation openly.
So after the third session, I am stronger now. My friend and I (if you notice I don’t use the word “ex” here) are still in touch, not because I cannot let go, it is because (despite we are not being together for almost 3 months now), we are still friends. Cos I have come to term that if we cannot be in a relationship now, that does not mean we have to be enemy. We can still be friends and yes I still hope the situation will change and maybe one day we will be back together (who knows), but at least now, I am able to accept the situation and I can let go and move on. I am able to look at the situation with clear head and not over react to the situation. I am now able to mentioned his name without crying and I don’t feel the pain and ache in my heart. I started to listen to the songs that he used to send to me without feeling sad or depressed. I can now go to the restaurants we used to go.
I no longer keep looking at my phone and hope to see his message comes in or reread all his messages to feel the connection. I feel I am now calmer and even receiving his message greeting during the festive months, I don’t get over excited but of course I feel happy to receive it… come or don’t come it doesn’t matter to me.
Thank you for introducing me to BQRT to help me manage my break off in a calmer and clearer mind. I don’t feel the pain now in my heart and i am able to experience some of the wonderful things we done before now without think “how nice if he is here” or “how good this is if he is here”. BQRT helps me to managed my emotional from this break off in a much better way. I feel free now.