Healing Emotionally Abusive Husband Freed Wive

I woke up this morning and I couldn’t be more grateful. Thank you, Dhennver and Hui Ling for saving my marriage, for saving me and for giving my children a father they can finally bond with.

For 27 years, I suffered mental and verbal abuses from my husband. It drove me to hurt myself physically and wanting to end my life; there were so many times when I spiralled back to when I was 17 and could not take anymore of the mental, physical and verbal abuses from my mother. At 17 years of age, I tried to end my life but I survived just to keep spiralling back into that moment again and again. My husband brought out this insane rage in me that made me want to destroy everything in my path because I felt trapped and couldn’t find a way out.

I was told that our marriage is one made in Heaven; my husband and I are soulmates who are destined to meet again in this life. I couldn’t understand why I was so drawn to him despite all the suffering. Why I couldn’t end this ‘contract’ that we made.

Over and over again, I contemplated walking away and leaving our children with him so that I can start afresh on my own, but my intuition held me back. Despite his weaknesses, I knew there was a different side of him buried so deep that he was silently crying out for help. I knew I was his only hope and his world would fall apart if I left.

Bear with me as I tell my story and the amazing journey of how ECR saved us and gave us a second chance. Today, as I recall the past and reflect on how we have changed, I am amazed and truly grateful. I no longer live in fear or anger, I no longer have to anticipate his moods or be on guard to step out of his way. I can be myself and feel safe. Sadly, I may not be attracted to him like how I used to be but I believe, one day, the spark will ignite again.

My husband was the most arrogant, self centered, stubborn, miserable person who had such a massive ego that he would constantly be repeating things like ‘I am greater than God’ and ‘I am right, I am always right’. He had an explosive temper that can be triggered by almost anything and he will not hesitate to speak his mind or put me down in public. I was always at the receiving end of his rage; I was always his punching bag. The words he used would slice deep wounds in me and over the years, I became engulfed in darkness and I was literally drowning.

I tried so many times to pull myself up and out, only to be buried again by his words. Thankfully, he never once raised his hand on me but the mental and verbal abuses shattered my confidence and self worth.

2 years back, I met Dhennver and Hui Ling for the 1st time. I was at the rock bottom and was physically hurting myself again. Hui Ling took one look at me and said ‘On the outside, you look very happy but on the inside, you are about to snap and take your life anytime now’. Hui Ling saw through me and read me like an open book. The front that I put up all the years crumbled into pieces and I started sobbing like a child. My spirit was broken and my heart was desperately pleading for help. All these years, I have been living behind a mask and in my own make belief world just to keep myself alive.

I knew I needed to save myself so I enrolled for the ECR sessions without hesitation. As the saying goes….you need to help yourself before you can help others; you can’t pour from an empty jar. And so the journey of healing began for me.

It wasn’t until this year that I decided to do the ECR for my husband. I believe it’s all about timing and the time had finally arrived. I probably needed the time to heal before I could represent my husband in the ECR.